My most recent experience with dating has been a fiasco. Are all men born liars or do they acquire this as they age?
I thought that I had seen everything, but this last relationship defied all previous ones.

I met “Don the Liar”  back in June. He seemed like the all American genuine real down to earth, successful, dynamic, educated dream man. What could possibly be wrong with him? I am a very experienced dater and was looking for signs that were inconsistent with what he was telling me. The first few months, there were none

He called every day, sent sweet text and expressed such a strong interest in me. It was very flattering and I started to let my guard down. He even came to my house for a weekend and never tried to have sex with me. I had already set the ground rules prior to his visit.

The first little “red flag”  from “Don the Liar” was when he told me that two years ago he had a tumor on his spinal column that he had to have chemo for. He mentioned that only 4 people in the entire world knew about this. I thought it was odd.

After a wonderful weekend, he left and instant messaged me that evening about how much he liked me and inquired if I could love his daughter. We spoke for several hours. Well, to my shock and dismay, I saw him on a dating site that night a few hours later with his instant message icon displayed. He had told me he deleted his profile.

His excuse was that he had to put his profile back on to contact the dating site about a stalker that was harassing him. I knew that was a far stretch but decided to let it go. Mistake number one!

Then, we kissed and made up a week later. I decided that I had not known him very long and should understand he might be seeing other people at that point. Even though he “lied” to me!

Everything was going well and then he got mad for no reason and told me his mother was in the hospital and he had to go see her. That was a lie too! I let it go as well. Mistake number two!

There were other erratic patterns that would take too much time to discuss here. However, the biggest one, was the last one. I went to visit him and everything was going great. We had chatted one night and he was helping me do something with my site. The next day he texted me a cute little text and I responded. That was the last time I heard from him for a week.

A week later, I texted him and asked what  happened? He told me that he had just gotten out of the hospital! When I asked him WHY he had not contacted me to let me know, he said that it was because he had been hooked up to tubes and electrodes, and actually had been unconscious for a day! Can you believe that. That his migraine issue was back.

I kept this going for another two days to see how outlandish the lies were going to get. I was utterly amazed. What upset me the most was that he thought I was so stupid that I believed this nonsense. That was the biggest blow to me.

He told me that the next day he had a scan planned for this “tumor” at the Mayo Clinic. When I attempted to call him that day, he was non responsive. So, he finally texted me like all people who have something to hide, and said he would call me after the scan. That he didn’t feel like talking.

Well, I had enough of the stupidity of the entire thing and called him at work at the supposed time of his “scan”. As expected, he answered the phone. Fast recovery!!! Should I send him a get well card or a kick in the A___s?

Dating is FUN???

I have been single for over 4 years now. I went into single life with an open mind! I have found however that perhaps I am not “good” at dating

Listing my past relationships is a bit embarrassing but I want to know that I am not so different than any other single female. Actually, I hope that no one has endured the depths of what I have felt and experienced.

My first experiences with dating set the tone for what has been an ongoing disaster. You will say, I am sure, “You like bad boys don’t you”? Nothing could be further from the truth. I like educated, articulate, attractive, intelligent and professional guys. Is there anything wrong with that.

I forgot to mention that I like single men. More about that later. Reflecting upon my past mistakes, I still would not have had too many red flags the first few contacts. No scary situations, but major drama ensued.

I prefer to date from online dating sites. I am sort of shy and have better luck meeting people this way. The problem is finding “quality men with integrity”. Mom never told me that it would be this hard!!

The first few guys that I dated were “major players“. The first one I found out was not only a serial dater but had been arrested for stalking and had 2 restraining orders from 2 different women. Yes, I did a background check through the county records. Good thing!

The second one I found out later was an alcoholic and sex addict. He was educated, from a wealthy family and very sweet. Just didn’t realize he was also a liar and a bs artist. By bs artist, I am not talking about  music or Van Gough!. He still tries to reach me online. I thought I blocked him but after 4 years he still tries to get to me. He broke my heart and probably many others!

I moved on to a convicted felon. Now, I must admit, he was the only one that was not a professional guy. However, he was oh so attractive. He had multiple profiles with in different cities with different identifications. Very strange!

After that, well.. I will leave out a few less interesting but as much in the same standards as the previous ones, I found my “Dream Man”! Wow, was I impressed. We spoke for hours on end. He lived a few hours from me and we were so infatuated. He failed to tell me that not only was he still married but his cheating wife who was sleeping with the neighbor, was also still at home! That drama went on for months. We will call him Bob.

Bob and I broke up several times, he finally separated from his wife and he moved out west. I went to visit him and found that he was on a Bondage Site! I was furious. Drama ensued as I snared him into a little fun. I signed up on the site while visiting him  and began emailing him with an alias of course named Carla!

Carla and Bob started an exchange of emails and upon my return home, they set up a meeting. I instant messaged him as Carla and he took the bait. He went to meet Carla one evening and of course, he was so sadly stood up. There is more to that story, but not enough time here! Bob and I soon parted ways for awhile. Funny thing, he still calls me after two years! He wants a life with me, but I have to share it with his best friend double  Absolute Vodkas!

Do not despair!  There is more to this story. Things did calm down and I met a nice guy.. one of the few,  but he had a drinking problem. Soon after, I thought that I met my dream man from Michigan. He pursued me to the hilt and I took the bait. He was recently divorced though and was just enjoying mini vacations in Florida. I was crushed and still am!

Last but not least was someone that I will call Mark. He took the cake. I should bake him one lol. Never have I dated such a pathological Liar. Well, yes I have! However, he was the most seemingly sincere liar.

Oh, there were red flags after the first six weeks. He came to visit me and started talking about some type of tumor that he had on his spinal column. It caused him terrible migraines at times . He had chemo to arrest it. Only 4 people in the entire world knew about this. Hmmm, I did have a few moments of thought after hearing this!

A few hours after our visit, which was spectacular, I saw him on a dating site with his instant messaging button on. He had told me he deleted his profile for me . Ha ha! When I confronted him, he told me that he was being stalked by someone on the site and had to contact the administrator. Well, I own a dating site and know that you do not have to have a profile to contact them. I let it go since we had not dated that long. Rule number 1, if they lie, do not stop! Pass GO!!!

This stupidity went on for a few months. The last thing that happened was probably the most amazing bit of lying and creativity that I had ever experienced in my vast dating years!!!
He just disappeared for a week. So, I texted him to see if he was ok.

Mark told me that he had been in the hospital and had just gotten out. He was actually unconscious for day and hooked up to tubes and electrodes!!!  Poor Mark’s parents were with him and taking him to the Mayo Clinic the next day for testing. Yeah right!

Just so I could prove to myself that I was not paranoid after all my honest, loyal boyfriends, I decided to give him the benefit of doubt. At the time he told me he was at the Mayo, I called him at work. I guess you know it was not his secretary that answered the phone!

Is this just me or does every one have these problems with dating??

This is a post, submitted by one of our readers here on Successfuldatingpro.com. She wrote this sometime back and finally got the courage to send it into us for our thoughts on her somewhat lackluster dating life.

I have recently joined another online dating site. Sometimes, I wonder if my future is meant to include a lifetime of “aloneness”. I feel that I am a great catch and do not understand why I never seem to meet anyone that sticks.

I have been single for almost 5 years now.  The funny thing is that right from the onset of my divorce, I was hoping to find the relationship that would last a lifetime. The one that so eluded me during my 8 years of marriage.

After my divorce, I thought I was a great catch. One of my male coworkers told me I was so I guess it gave me false confidence. I was in great shape, had a great job, full of life, fun and educated!. I guess men are not looking for those qualities in women they date?

Being single for me has never been very pleasurable or satisfying. I do not like to live alone or be alone every single day of my life. For me, finding someone that I click with and have feelings for makes me happy. Alone, I feel uncertain about my future and insecure.

The only way that I seem to meet anyone is online. I know that I am not a very approachable person, or at least have been told that. In a one on one meeting I am very outgoing and confident. I usually get a second date after meeting someone the first time.

Over the past 4 1/2 years, I have probably had over 40 meeting with people that I met online. Some, I have dated for a few months. One person I actually made it to 6 months. I never had such hopes as I did with him. It still stings!  Then, he disappeared.

So, I wonder what it is that guys really look for. I felt that after 40 men became more stable and sure of what they wanted in a relationship. It seems that the opposite has been the reality of my dating life.

Are men looking for an attractive, educated, well balanced non clingy person?? Or are they looking for someone that comes with baggage, insecurities and cannot even have an intelligent conversation.??

I am simply astonished at the behavior of some of the guys that I have had the unfortunate luck of getting involved with.

I am now on Eharmony and I feel so little passion about meeting anyone on there. It seems that maybe if someone is paying so much to meet someone and that there is less competition there as well, perhaps I will have a chance to meet a normal, dynamic, educated man.

I know that I am now a bit jaded and nervous about developing any feeling for someone since I have seen so much dishonesty and ugliness. Maybe this will be my one last hope at finally meeting someone that can remain in my life longer than a season.

Valentines Day is coming up and it dawned on me that I have never had anyone in my life during this special holiday since my divorce. I also have had to celebrate every New Years Eve alone as well.  Hopefully, 2009 will be a turning point for me. It will be my 50th birthday and I am painfully aware that very year that passes now will make it that much harder to find the type of person I am looking for.

Well, tonight I have a date at 7:30 with someone from Match.com. I am discontinuing my membership when it expires next month, so, I figured I better get my money’s worth. This is first date since my nutcase psychopathic liar guy back in September. I don’t have any preconceived ideas about him since I am not a novice online dater. He does have all his teeth, looks attractive and can put sentences together. His profile says he has a Bachelor’s Degree. He is a football fan so that could be an issue. He did assure me that football is  not his life. We shared a few prior internet dating experiences and I think mine topped his. I didn’t go into extensive details or share with him my more scandalous dating experiences. Some things should stay underground.Well, it is either feast or famine. There is another guy emailing me that wants to meet me too. The harder you make it for them, the more desirable you become. Maybe in 2009 I will become a serial dater. Trying to establish a relationship seems to always escape me so perhaps that is the best option. Anyway, at least we had a great conversation last night and I am meeting him at a nice place for drinks and dinner. Wish me luck!

Sarah Miller- author of dating blogs on Successfuldatingpro.com