Finding someone to share your life with in later years can be wonderful and actually extend both your quality of life as well as your lifespan. It can bring with it however some issues that are complex and should be discussed.

Normally, when we have reached retirement, we have reached financial security. Many seniors own their own home, have 401ks and retirement income. The thought of risking financial stability and our loved one’s inheritance can be rather daunting.

Many seniors are no longer marrying because of their finances. Living together and even maintaining 2 homes is quite accepted and perhaps offers a solution to being able to have companionship without the concerns of risking wealth or security.

The decision of where to take a relationship in our later years is one that has to be made by both parties. There are many successful marriages that take place because couples can work through the decisions of how the money will be spent, merged and if one or both parties will take part in providing income.

When dating, the same rules normally apply. The male normally will pay for most dates. When the relationship becomes more serious, then it is important to make decisions about the future. Many seniors feel they don’t want to waste years with someone that is not of the same mindset. Don’t feel uncomfortable communicating your feelings and expectations.

There are ways to successfully have a long term relationship or marriage by coming to an agreement concerning money. Prenuptial agreements are very popular and can assure both you and your partner as well as family members of everyone’s intentions. It can relieve the stress of feeling powerless about your financial future if your spouse goes off the deep end with spending. Or, if something should happen to you and you want to make sure your children are provided for.

The three most important things that we recommend at Successfuldatingpro.com is that you:

1. Make a will

2. Discuss a possible prenup if contemplating marriage

3. Discuss fully how you feel about money, spending and how each one of you is going to contribute.

In addition to the previously mentioned disadvantages of being single, not having someone to snuggle up to while watching a movie, or even having a regular sex partner can cause lonliness and frustration.  Humans need contact with others and we are biologically engineered to fall in love and connect with someone. When you take the companionship out of our existence, it creates a void.

Other disadvantages of being single can be economic. Having two household incomes is much better than struggling by oneself. This is especially relevant in today’s economy. It is always better to be self sufficient, but knowing there is additional income for nights out or trips increases your quality and enjoyment of life.

If you are a single parent and trying to date, having children makes it more difficult. Trying to find baby sitters, afford them and juggle a relationship can be almost impossible. Also, having someone there to support your decisons and assist you with raising children can be not only helpful but necessary. Not everyone can do it all single handedly.

When I ask people, “What are the disadvantages of being single‘”, normally they will say,  feeling lonely or missing someone to hang out with. What do you think are the disadvantages of being single? Perhaps you are at a contented place in your life and enjoy your singlehood!!

Part of the dating process is finding someone that is attracted to you and that you find appealing as well. Sometimes, when we have been in a relationship for quite sometime or have been out of the loop with dating, we don’t concern ourselves with our physical appearance.

If you have gained weight and feel this is stopping you from finding the type of person you are searching for, getting fit should be at the top of your list. It also is essential for your health.

The problem is that most people don’t have a clue where to start.  There is so much information online and through infomercials on getting fit that it is hard to know where to begin.

The first step is to decide why you want to lose the weight. If it is just to boost your confidence and feel attractive, it probably won’t last long. The key is to also realize that it is imperative to your health as well.

So, now where do you start on your journey to getting fit for life? Yes, I did say fit for life.

Some would say to have a goal as to how much you want to lose. This is important to some extent but, don’t overshoot your short term capacity. have a realistic goal. They say that safely 2 lbs per week is realistic however, much of the initial weight loss is water weight and after awhile, you may not lose as fast as you expected. Everyone’s metabolism is different. Don’t give up.

Once you have some numbers in your head, open up your fridge and pantry. Look for everything that is high in fat content, especially saturated fats. Some fats are good for you such as fats derived from fish, olives,nuts, etc. All fried snacks should get tossed or as I used to do, given to coworkers.

Get into a routine of exercising at least 3-4 times per week. It is always recommended that you visit your doctor to get a checkup before starting an exercise routine.

Some people respond well to light cardio where as some need more intense and longer visits to the gym. The American Heart Association is not suggesting 45 minutes of cardio. I know that sounds horrible, and many people don’t have 45 extra minutes to fit in to their schedule.

Make sure that you don’t starve yourself. It is better to eat 3 meals per day with 3 snacks. Cutting back on your portions is essential to losing weight and getting fit. For most people trying to lose weight, this is also one of the hardest things to do.  Americans are so conditioned to eating everything on our plate and eating heapfuls of food at the local buffet.

Fresh fruits and veggies are great for good health and wonderful snacks. Eating fish at least 3 times per week and cutting back on your beef consumption will also help you lose weight and lower cholesterol. I try to eat food from the Mediterranean diet.

One of the things I love most to drink now are my fruit smoothies. You can do this with fresh or frozen fruit. I use both depending on what is in season and also the price. You can take some fresh strawberries, bananas,  plain yogurt, ice, skim milk, honey or agave if you want a little added sweetness and blend it up into a very refreshing and delicious morning drink. I am addicted to my fruit drinks now and miss them if I don’t have time to make one.

Start reading the labels while shopping. So many foods are high in sodium, sugar and fat. Yogurt can have high sugar content so it is important to check the container before buying.

Feeling that you are worthwhile is important for being a complete person and looking confident to a potential partner. Losing weight can be one of the pieces in the puzzle to getting there.

Always remember that to attract someone, you must have more than just the physical. Getting fit should be a life long goal and not just short term. It will not only benefit the way you look, but also  help you live a longer and more quality life.

Resources for eating healthy and getting fit:

http://exercise.lifetips.com

http://www.eatingwell.com

http://www.fitnessmagazine.com

There are various ways to meet single guys other than just through online dating. One of them is in a bar setting. It is not necessarily a  “pick up” place. There are many men that go there because they don’t have another way to meet women or are just there for a drink with the guys.

If you suddenly catch his attention and you find him attractive, don’t stare him down or look the other way. If you stare at him, you take the chance of intimidating him.  Looking the other way and not giving him any signals that you are interested will pretty much diminish any chances of his approaching you even if you are the hottest gal in the bar.

So, what do you do when a guy looks your way in a bar? The best way to get him to approach you would be for you to look at him and smile. Then,  just act naturally and see what transpires. Yes, I know, easier said than done. That is why I am here and you are at the bar biting off your acrylics!

Seriously, guys need a signal to advance ahead unless they are just so bold that they don’t consider your intentions. I am sure that you have experienced that type already.  Fortuantely for us, most guys will not be that forceful and will respect your space.

Bars that are in established restaurants can be a wonderful way to meet a more quality type of guy.  He might just be having a coctail before dinner. Also, a lot of guys that are on business will sit at a bar to have dinner rather than utilizing a table.

Many times, a guy will send over a drink for you as an introduction. Don’t feel offended. If you don’t feel comfortable with this approach, you can either refuse it politely or reciprocate. Some women get mad and defensive when they get a drink from a guy and feel he has bad intentions.

Going to bars as a way to meet guys is simply one way to accomplish this. It is better to mix it up a bit and give yourself a variety of methods that will increase your odds.  Stay with it, you will eventually meet  that special someone!

There are so many schools of thought and techniques on dating out there today. Dating philosophies depend on several factors: The age of the person who is dating and also the times that we live in today.

This topic became most important to me this week since it was mentioned to me that my ideas are “antiquated”. So, in fairness to the person who pointed it out , but most certainly will not read this post, I am going to attempt to approach this subject with an open mind.

I have been attempting for the past several weeks to get feedback in an open forum regarding several dating topics such as “should a guy pay for the first date” and “why do guys play games”? It was a very enlightening experience and I learned quite a bit from it.

I found that many people in their 20’s prefer to split the date or refer to whoever suggested it as the payor. I feel that it is fair if it works for their generation. Also, I do realize that many people in their 20’s are in school and do not have a lot of money to date.

There definitely is a generational mindset difference and I do appreciate and respect that.  Dating is such a difficult topic to turn into and exact science and really boils down to several things: compatibility  and attraction.  Other criteria is secondary.

Most men in their late 30’s, 40s and beyond will reach for their wallet and not allow a lady to pay for the first date.  To me that is the real test. If they expect me to pay for the first date, it is the last. In more than 40 dates over the past almost 5 years, I have only had one date where the man expected us to share the check.  He was a recipe for disaster!

I can only extend my experiences, research, and values to my readers. It is up to you to decide if what I have to say has value and I do hope that it does and that it aids you in your search for a great relationship!

When you breakup with someone that you are emotionally connected to, it can be devastating and be hard to let go of. It takes time to heal your heart and get a firm footing back. There is something that I strongly recommend under the following circumstances:

1.  You had a nasty breakup and he doesn’t want to talk to you anymore.

2. You feel that having communication with him is hurtful or make you feel like going back.

3. He calls you when he wants a booty call.

4. You find that to keep contact is too emotionally draining .

5. You just cannot let go and he doesn’t want you anymore.

There is a technique that I have used for over 4 years now to help me let go after breaking up  but never put a name to it.  Jane, the creator of the dating blog  Onedatewonderland.com really explains it well.

She calls  the coping mechanism DTM. It is about moving forward. The best way to achieve this if you are suffering from one or all of the above after a breakup. is to erase them from your database. Not only mentally, but from any possible portal that they can be visible.
This means erasing them from all text messages, emails, ims, phone contact list and photos.Depending upon the length of time you have spent with him, it may be time consuming. It is essential to remove possible reminders as well as temptations.

Be prepared for the possibility that he might try to enter your space again. Many times,  even if someone is not interested in really developing the relationship further or repairing the damage that is already done, he still might miss the attention that you gave him. Hearing from him again is not always a good or positive sign for you. If the relationship was toxic, don’t even go there again! Let him go!
Believe me, it works if you apply it and stick to it. Being recently broken up is usually painful but you can get through it with empowerment. Don’t let someone else determine your happiness.! That is difficult at times to do but imperative to having a healthy relationship going forward!

My most recent experience with dating has been a fiasco. Are all men born liars or do they acquire this as they age?
I thought that I had seen everything, but this last relationship defied all previous ones.

I met “Don the Liar”  back in June. He seemed like the all American genuine real down to earth, successful, dynamic, educated dream man. What could possibly be wrong with him? I am a very experienced dater and was looking for signs that were inconsistent with what he was telling me. The first few months, there were none

He called every day, sent sweet text and expressed such a strong interest in me. It was very flattering and I started to let my guard down. He even came to my house for a weekend and never tried to have sex with me. I had already set the ground rules prior to his visit.

The first little “red flag”  from “Don the Liar” was when he told me that two years ago he had a tumor on his spinal column that he had to have chemo for. He mentioned that only 4 people in the entire world knew about this. I thought it was odd.

After a wonderful weekend, he left and instant messaged me that evening about how much he liked me and inquired if I could love his daughter. We spoke for several hours. Well, to my shock and dismay, I saw him on a dating site that night a few hours later with his instant message icon displayed. He had told me he deleted his profile.

His excuse was that he had to put his profile back on to contact the dating site about a stalker that was harassing him. I knew that was a far stretch but decided to let it go. Mistake number one!

Then, we kissed and made up a week later. I decided that I had not known him very long and should understand he might be seeing other people at that point. Even though he “lied” to me!

Everything was going well and then he got mad for no reason and told me his mother was in the hospital and he had to go see her. That was a lie too! I let it go as well. Mistake number two!

There were other erratic patterns that would take too much time to discuss here. However, the biggest one, was the last one. I went to visit him and everything was going great. We had chatted one night and he was helping me do something with my site. The next day he texted me a cute little text and I responded. That was the last time I heard from him for a week.

A week later, I texted him and asked what  happened? He told me that he had just gotten out of the hospital! When I asked him WHY he had not contacted me to let me know, he said that it was because he had been hooked up to tubes and electrodes, and actually had been unconscious for a day! Can you believe that. That his migraine issue was back.

I kept this going for another two days to see how outlandish the lies were going to get. I was utterly amazed. What upset me the most was that he thought I was so stupid that I believed this nonsense. That was the biggest blow to me.

He told me that the next day he had a scan planned for this “tumor” at the Mayo Clinic. When I attempted to call him that day, he was non responsive. So, he finally texted me like all people who have something to hide, and said he would call me after the scan. That he didn’t feel like talking.

Well, I had enough of the stupidity of the entire thing and called him at work at the supposed time of his “scan”. As expected, he answered the phone. Fast recovery!!! Should I send him a get well card or a kick in the A___s?

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Sassybean.com is a very established and popular dating blog. Created by married couple Matt Titus and Tamsen Fada, Sassybeans offers singles a firm but fun view of dating life.  There are topics for just about every aspect of dating from how to dress on your date to where to go to find your date. A very well written and attractive dating blog.  This one gets 5 stars!!

Glamour.com is a great online magazine that offers very insightful dating tips on sex, love and life. A lot of very humorous takes on dating life.

DatingThoughts.com was created by several professionals in their early thirties who live in the San Francisco Bay Area, California. They decided to try and provide insight and support to singles who are dating.