Part of the dating process is finding someone that is attracted to you and that you find appealing as well. Sometimes, when we have been in a relationship for quite sometime or have been out of the loop with dating, we don’t concern ourselves with our physical appearance.

If you have gained weight and feel this is stopping you from finding the type of person you are searching for, getting fit should be at the top of your list. It also is essential for your health.

The problem is that most people don’t have a clue where to start.  There is so much information online and through infomercials on getting fit that it is hard to know where to begin.

The first step is to decide why you want to lose the weight. If it is just to boost your confidence and feel attractive, it probably won’t last long. The key is to also realize that it is imperative to your health as well.

So, now where do you start on your journey to getting fit for life? Yes, I did say fit for life.

Some would say to have a goal as to how much you want to lose. This is important to some extent but, don’t overshoot your short term capacity. have a realistic goal. They say that safely 2 lbs per week is realistic however, much of the initial weight loss is water weight and after awhile, you may not lose as fast as you expected. Everyone’s metabolism is different. Don’t give up.

Once you have some numbers in your head, open up your fridge and pantry. Look for everything that is high in fat content, especially saturated fats. Some fats are good for you such as fats derived from fish, olives,nuts, etc. All fried snacks should get tossed or as I used to do, given to coworkers.

Get into a routine of exercising at least 3-4 times per week. It is always recommended that you visit your doctor to get a checkup before starting an exercise routine.

Some people respond well to light cardio where as some need more intense and longer visits to the gym. The American Heart Association is not suggesting 45 minutes of cardio. I know that sounds horrible, and many people don’t have 45 extra minutes to fit in to their schedule.

Make sure that you don’t starve yourself. It is better to eat 3 meals per day with 3 snacks. Cutting back on your portions is essential to losing weight and getting fit. For most people trying to lose weight, this is also one of the hardest things to do.  Americans are so conditioned to eating everything on our plate and eating heapfuls of food at the local buffet.

Fresh fruits and veggies are great for good health and wonderful snacks. Eating fish at least 3 times per week and cutting back on your beef consumption will also help you lose weight and lower cholesterol. I try to eat food from the Mediterranean diet.

One of the things I love most to drink now are my fruit smoothies. You can do this with fresh or frozen fruit. I use both depending on what is in season and also the price. You can take some fresh strawberries, bananas,  plain yogurt, ice, skim milk, honey or agave if you want a little added sweetness and blend it up into a very refreshing and delicious morning drink. I am addicted to my fruit drinks now and miss them if I don’t have time to make one.

Start reading the labels while shopping. So many foods are high in sodium, sugar and fat. Yogurt can have high sugar content so it is important to check the container before buying.

Feeling that you are worthwhile is important for being a complete person and looking confident to a potential partner. Losing weight can be one of the pieces in the puzzle to getting there.

Always remember that to attract someone, you must have more than just the physical. Getting fit should be a life long goal and not just short term. It will not only benefit the way you look, but also  help you live a longer and more quality life.

Resources for eating healthy and getting fit:

http://exercise.lifetips.com

http://www.eatingwell.com

http://www.fitnessmagazine.com

When you breakup with someone that you are emotionally connected to, it can be devastating and be hard to let go of. It takes time to heal your heart and get a firm footing back. There is something that I strongly recommend under the following circumstances:

1.  You had a nasty breakup and he doesn’t want to talk to you anymore.

2. You feel that having communication with him is hurtful or make you feel like going back.

3. He calls you when he wants a booty call.

4. You find that to keep contact is too emotionally draining .

5. You just cannot let go and he doesn’t want you anymore.

There is a technique that I have used for over 4 years now to help me let go after breaking up  but never put a name to it.  Jane, the creator of the dating blog  Onedatewonderland.com really explains it well.

She calls  the coping mechanism DTM. It is about moving forward. The best way to achieve this if you are suffering from one or all of the above after a breakup. is to erase them from your database. Not only mentally, but from any possible portal that they can be visible.
This means erasing them from all text messages, emails, ims, phone contact list and photos.Depending upon the length of time you have spent with him, it may be time consuming. It is essential to remove possible reminders as well as temptations.

Be prepared for the possibility that he might try to enter your space again. Many times,  even if someone is not interested in really developing the relationship further or repairing the damage that is already done, he still might miss the attention that you gave him. Hearing from him again is not always a good or positive sign for you. If the relationship was toxic, don’t even go there again! Let him go!
Believe me, it works if you apply it and stick to it. Being recently broken up is usually painful but you can get through it with empowerment. Don’t let someone else determine your happiness.! That is difficult at times to do but imperative to having a healthy relationship going forward!