Dating Advice on love, life and relationships
Are You a Rebound Date?
There is a rule of dating of which I am an avid follower and recommend this to all my friends and readers. Dating someone who is newly divorced is normally heading down a treacherous path, if you are genuinely looking for a long term relationship. When he tells you that he is newly single, remind yourself that you are not in the market for a rebound relationship!
When a guy is fresh out of a marriage, he has quite possibly been in a monogamous relationship for years. Imagine a guy that has been only with one woman for over 20 years and you will understand that he is ripe for a little adventure.
He starts feeling the freedom after separation but when the divorce is finalized, he is really free to fly! If you are the unfortunate one to soothe his wounds during this period, you may be soon searching for someone to do the same for you.
Divorce is a magic button for a guy. It unlocks a myriad of visual fantasies that he may have been suppressing and some he may want to act upon. He very possibly had an unfulfilling marriage on an intimate level and he can now try out his new found sexual freedom.
He will probably tell you that he is a one woman man and probably under the right circumstances this would be true. Believe me when I tell you that probably 90% of men are not ready for a long term relationship immediately following a long term marriage.
Not only is there the sudden itch he has to be enjoying his singledom, but also the ex wife and kids to factor in. In many cases, the ex wife is not very cooperative immediately following a breakup and the kids are just adjusting to the separation from their father or in some cases their mother.
Adding all these elements into the scenario is a pretty ominous situation. Red flags and bells should be sounding in your head when you hear the words , “just divorced” or “newly separated”. Falling into that rebound trap can lead to more pain and disappointment than you can imagine!
Leave the guy to have fun for at least a year after his divorce before venturing out into his world. If he is still available and interested in you, then, and only then should you sample his offerings.
2 Responses to “Are You a Rebound Date?”
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Do you really think it is just the guys? I have been single for about 7 years and I have a policy of “no dating girls” that are separated (almost divorced) or just divorced. I have seen the same behaviors described in this article with women.
I am a single mom, divorced for 2 years now and would just like to let you know that it goes both ways, men and women. Women do the same things described in this article only we are a little more less subtle about it. On the flip side though…the thing about a woman is if the person she rebounds with helps her through the emotions and doesn’t mind the baggage, he could turn out to be her knight in shining armor…what girl doesn’t like to be resuced?! Thats the only difference between the man and woman that I can see regarding “rebound dating”.