When you breakup with someone that you are emotionally connected to, it can be devastating and be hard to let go of. It takes time to heal your heart and get a firm footing back. There is something that I strongly recommend under the following circumstances:

1.  You had a nasty breakup and he doesn’t want to talk to you anymore.

2. You feel that having communication with him is hurtful or make you feel like going back.

3. He calls you when he wants a booty call.

4. You find that to keep contact is too emotionally draining .

5. You just cannot let go and he doesn’t want you anymore.

There is a technique that I have used for over 4 years now to help me let go after breaking up  but never put a name to it.  Jane, the creator of the dating blog  Onedatewonderland.com really explains it well.

She calls  the coping mechanism DTM. It is about moving forward. The best way to achieve this if you are suffering from one or all of the above after a breakup. is to erase them from your database. Not only mentally, but from any possible portal that they can be visible.
This means erasing them from all text messages, emails, ims, phone contact list and photos.Depending upon the length of time you have spent with him, it may be time consuming. It is essential to remove possible reminders as well as temptations.

Be prepared for the possibility that he might try to enter your space again. Many times,  even if someone is not interested in really developing the relationship further or repairing the damage that is already done, he still might miss the attention that you gave him. Hearing from him again is not always a good or positive sign for you. If the relationship was toxic, don’t even go there again! Let him go!
Believe me, it works if you apply it and stick to it. Being recently broken up is usually painful but you can get through it with empowerment. Don’t let someone else determine your happiness.! That is difficult at times to do but imperative to having a healthy relationship going forward!

If you decide that your partner is not working out for you, the worst thing is just to fade out. It may seem like the “kind” thing to do, but it can have lasting negative and painful consequences.

Another method of a dating breakup that is very popular is to tell someone that you are confused or just not sure what you want. This is used hoping to soften a breakup. This not only just prolongs the breakup but is hurtful and confusing for the person who is waiting for your decision.

Unless your partner is a confrontational or intimidating person, it is always advisable to sit down and explain that things are not working out. There is no reason to explain every detail or trait that might annoy you about your partner. However, honesty will be more kind to him or her as they start the repair their broken heart.

Fading out or just not calling someone again has become a popular way to rid oneself of someone who may not be a “perfect match”. At least a candid phone call to explain that it didn’t work out is necessary in order that there is not false hope or confusion as to what went wrong with the relationship.

Texting and emailing  a goodbye message have also become a breakup method of choice. This is a very insensitive and cowardly way to relieve someone of a person they no longer wish to date or deal with.  Again, there is a nicer and more ethical way to handle a breakup.

If you have invested months of your time and your partner’s in a relationship then take the time and effort to do the right thing when saying goodbye. Actions have consequences and one never realizes how insensitive ones can impact someone’s life.  In essence, DO the Right thing!