When you breakup with someone that you are emotionally connected to, it can be devastating and be hard to let go of. It takes time to heal your heart and get a firm footing back. There is something that I strongly recommend under the following circumstances:

1.  You had a nasty breakup and he doesn’t want to talk to you anymore.

2. You feel that having communication with him is hurtful or make you feel like going back.

3. He calls you when he wants a booty call.

4. You find that to keep contact is too emotionally draining .

5. You just cannot let go and he doesn’t want you anymore.

There is a technique that I have used for over 4 years now to help me let go after breaking up  but never put a name to it.  Jane, the creator of the dating blog  Onedatewonderland.com really explains it well.

She calls  the coping mechanism DTM. It is about moving forward. The best way to achieve this if you are suffering from one or all of the above after a breakup. is to erase them from your database. Not only mentally, but from any possible portal that they can be visible.
This means erasing them from all text messages, emails, ims, phone contact list and photos.Depending upon the length of time you have spent with him, it may be time consuming. It is essential to remove possible reminders as well as temptations.

Be prepared for the possibility that he might try to enter your space again. Many times,  even if someone is not interested in really developing the relationship further or repairing the damage that is already done, he still might miss the attention that you gave him. Hearing from him again is not always a good or positive sign for you. If the relationship was toxic, don’t even go there again! Let him go!
Believe me, it works if you apply it and stick to it. Being recently broken up is usually painful but you can get through it with empowerment. Don’t let someone else determine your happiness.! That is difficult at times to do but imperative to having a healthy relationship going forward!

For people that have not had the best luck choosing the right “soul mate“, it sometimes becomes very difficult not to feel a bit damaged or skiddish about dating again.

We all have an emotional bank, the more you take out without building back up a reserve, the more depleted the bank becomes. So, we have to find a way to both not let bad relationships or simply a series of bad dates scare us off.

If you find that dating is starting to lose it’s luster and  it doesn’t allow you to enjoy life or focus in a positive way, then take a step back and give it a break for a few months.

When attempting to get over a bad relationship or forgetting someone who had basically “dumped” you, taking a breather can let you regroup and take care of the most important person- you! Giving yourself time to also decide if perhaps you are either looking for the wrong traits in a person or quite possibly need to change the  direction of your search can sometimes bring about a better solution to finding a partner.