This is a post, submitted by one of our readers here on Successfuldatingpro.com. She wrote this sometime back and finally got the courage to send it into us for our thoughts on her somewhat lackluster dating life.

I have recently joined another online dating site. Sometimes, I wonder if my future is meant to include a lifetime of “aloneness”. I feel that I am a great catch and do not understand why I never seem to meet anyone that sticks.

I have been single for almost 5 years now.  The funny thing is that right from the onset of my divorce, I was hoping to find the relationship that would last a lifetime. The one that so eluded me during my 8 years of marriage.

After my divorce, I thought I was a great catch. One of my male coworkers told me I was so I guess it gave me false confidence. I was in great shape, had a great job, full of life, fun and educated!. I guess men are not looking for those qualities in women they date?

Being single for me has never been very pleasurable or satisfying. I do not like to live alone or be alone every single day of my life. For me, finding someone that I click with and have feelings for makes me happy. Alone, I feel uncertain about my future and insecure.

The only way that I seem to meet anyone is online. I know that I am not a very approachable person, or at least have been told that. In a one on one meeting I am very outgoing and confident. I usually get a second date after meeting someone the first time.

Over the past 4 1/2 years, I have probably had over 40 meeting with people that I met online. Some, I have dated for a few months. One person I actually made it to 6 months. I never had such hopes as I did with him. It still stings!  Then, he disappeared.

So, I wonder what it is that guys really look for. I felt that after 40 men became more stable and sure of what they wanted in a relationship. It seems that the opposite has been the reality of my dating life.

Are men looking for an attractive, educated, well balanced non clingy person?? Or are they looking for someone that comes with baggage, insecurities and cannot even have an intelligent conversation.??

I am simply astonished at the behavior of some of the guys that I have had the unfortunate luck of getting involved with.

I am now on Eharmony and I feel so little passion about meeting anyone on there. It seems that maybe if someone is paying so much to meet someone and that there is less competition there as well, perhaps I will have a chance to meet a normal, dynamic, educated man.

I know that I am now a bit jaded and nervous about developing any feeling for someone since I have seen so much dishonesty and ugliness. Maybe this will be my one last hope at finally meeting someone that can remain in my life longer than a season.

Valentines Day is coming up and it dawned on me that I have never had anyone in my life during this special holiday since my divorce. I also have had to celebrate every New Years Eve alone as well.  Hopefully, 2009 will be a turning point for me. It will be my 50th birthday and I am painfully aware that very year that passes now will make it that much harder to find the type of person I am looking for.

Well, tonight I have a date at 7:30 with someone from Match.com. I am discontinuing my membership when it expires next month, so, I figured I better get my money’s worth. This is first date since my nutcase psychopathic liar guy back in September. I don’t have any preconceived ideas about him since I am not a novice online dater. He does have all his teeth, looks attractive and can put sentences together. His profile says he has a Bachelor’s Degree. He is a football fan so that could be an issue. He did assure me that football is  not his life. We shared a few prior internet dating experiences and I think mine topped his. I didn’t go into extensive details or share with him my more scandalous dating experiences. Some things should stay underground.Well, it is either feast or famine. There is another guy emailing me that wants to meet me too. The harder you make it for them, the more desirable you become. Maybe in 2009 I will become a serial dater. Trying to establish a relationship seems to always escape me so perhaps that is the best option. Anyway, at least we had a great conversation last night and I am meeting him at a nice place for drinks and dinner. Wish me luck!

Sarah Miller- author of dating blogs on Successfuldatingpro.com